Gwyneth Paltrow agrees
looks JUST like a real record
ADVERTISING : 7" singles

This new gallery of record covers features some of the
more unusual 7" singles I have collected over the years.
There are flexi-discs, coloured vinyl, gatefold sleeves
and all tastes of cheesiness and I'm sure you will enjoy
the selection on display. I plan to do an album version of
the gallery before the end of the year but in the meantime
try to resist some of the tempting delights on offer below...
                        also available

PFIZER PRESENTS : 'The Control Of Diabetes' ~ 1961

I recently picked up an entire collection of medical
records, albiet not personal ones but flexi-discs like
this one. Promoting the benefits of Diabinese, it's still
manufactured today so it must be good. One lump or two?

this has fantastic sound FX
who are you calling a fag?
cough it up cowboy!
mmm smoky jazzz, niiice
are you a hip cat?
get off your bike daddio
hmmm... fragrant
say goodnight
9 tracks on 7 inches
Manfred, he's fit
in 3 different smells
your my besht mate you are
hmmm, decisions, desishuns.....
and you thought Cream were the first supergroup
the man is a beast!
is that all?
it's all just rubbish really
CLIFF ADAMS : 'Commercials' ~ '68 & '69

Where better to start my adverts gallery than with one
of the masters of the catchy 60's jingle, Clifford Adams.
He may have died in 2001 but many of his compositions
still live on, in my memory, from Ovaltine & Sugar Puffs
to Cadbury's Milk Tray and "Pink, Pink Paraffin".
I still drop some of his work into mixes today and I am
quite proud to own the two rare singles pictured here.

JOHNNY JOHNSTON ORCHESTRA : 'The Consulate Theme' ~ 1971

JJ composed this theme for the menthol cigarette advert in the
early 70's, B side is a cool track called 'The Consulate Bossa Nova'
Who was to know that all that dancing would get harder the more
you puffed, however Radio Caroline DJ DLT was to use it as a filler
  track between tunes, come to think of it he smoked a pipe, hmmm...

W.D. & H.G. Wells present 'MOOD EMBASSY' ~ 1960's

Keeping it on a smoky theme, these four tracks recorded
in "the modern jazz idiom" by Jean Gruyer were used in ads
on TV and in cinema's in the '60's. Incredible to think now
that smoking was positively encouraged in the cinema when
everyone is so PC these days. I tried them myself for a while
then worried about the effects of the menthol on my health
but as Bill Hicks once said "Non-smokers die every day".

              SOUNDS FROM MARLBORO COUNTRY ~ 1976 flexi-disc

                                 Four tracks of Western film themes from the godawful
                             place that is more commonly known as Marlboro Country.
                             I know that it's "where the flavour is", it's just a shame it
                            gives you bad breath, makes you smell bad and can kill you. 

THE RALLY ROUNDERS : 'The Bike Beat' ~ 1960's

After those smoking records perhaps it's best that
we get with 'The Bike Beat' and try to get fit again.
The dance is pretty easy if you remember to pedal
your legs and shake your hips in time to the music.
This song may even have been the inspiration behind
the great 'Motorbike Beat' single by The Revillos.

JEFF WAYNE : 'Let The Sun Come Into Your Life' ~ 1973

Before his success with the 'War Of The Worlds' album, Jeff Wayne
honed his skills writing and recording countless jingles for adverts.
Including these records promoting Pledge furniture polish and a
very catchy song for Johnson Wax titled 'Your OK With US' though
perhaps it need to be pointed out that it was "us" not the US.
His ode to Pledge isn't quite up there with 'Forever Autumn' but
he was simply polishing his art for the martian invasion to come.

'Your OK With Us' ~ 'Tomorrow'
a great film
go baby go!
THE BARCLAYGIRLS : 'Supergroup' ~ 1972

Jobs for the girls, claims the insert for this advertising
push to get more ladies behind the counter or cashing up.
There are even opportunities for computer operators which
was pretty advanced for 1972 but the main job for a
prospective Barclaygirl was typing, lots and lots of typing...

i'm avi' a faaaag
oooh laaa! now it's clean

MICHAEL ASPEL : 'Chats Up The Barclaygirls' ~1970's

Unfortunately one of the problems of working for Barclays Bank
in the 70's was the possibility that your husband or boyfriend
would be very worried about you going to work everyday.
Trouble was, quiz show host and smooth lothario Michael Aspel
was out to charm them away to his secret Crackerjack hideaway
and there was no shortage of fine fillies to choose from!
such a lot to choose from!
TRUSTEE SAVINGS BANK : 'It's The One For Me' ~ 1976

Still on the subject of banking there was always the
trusty or maybe that should be trustee TSB, who were
very pleased with themselves to have come up with a
jingle that rhymes with their name. They also went to
the trouble of letting you know the EXACT time the jingle
would be heard first on TV at 7.47pm to be precise, nice.
just another pinprick, there'll be no more aaahhhhhh........
JOHN COURAGE ALE : 'Here Comes Courage' ~ 1970's

If you're not having to take any drugs then a Jeff Bridges
impersonator will do his best to encourage you to take
courage with a selection of beers as seen on the left.
The B side offers you the chance to do the 'Courage Twist'
but best not to get too carried away if you've had a few, hic.


If your man is away trying the various ales on offer above,
then don't flip your wig, just get yourself a fab hair extension
and suprise him when he gets in from the pub! Or if the smell
of that beer on his breath is simply too much to bear then the
reassuring voice of the great Patrick Allen will convince you
that Mood Elegance perfume will make you feel a lady again.

behind you!!!
  RENAULT TRUCK WORKOUT : 'Jump' ~ 1980's

This groovy green vinyl coloured single is a twist on those
workout records released by Breakfast TV fitness instructors
in the 80's. Instead of targeting busy housewives stretching
and bending in front of their morning telly the self styled
Green Goddess does her best to get tubby truck drivers off
their fat arses and to "concentrate and accelerate", genius.

Finally 3 records without sleeves
it's the Pointer Sisters version sadly not Van Halen's